Whipped into a frenzy

I loathe taking my boys to the shops. They turn into trolls the minute shopping centre is mentioned and I am under no illusion that this may not change for their entire lives. I see visions of their wives dragging them around shopping centres with pouty grumpy men in their wake.
Today was no exception. I had to go to get some craft supplies for things we are going to do in the coming days. They had to come. There was winging and complaining, time wasting but my absolute favorite is the physical manifestations that shopping centers invite my children to partake in. It's like they see the entire complex as some massive obstacle course to be maneuvered around in the shortest time possible, why walk when you could run? Why meander down the slope when you could do roly polies right into the path of oncoming pedestrians making yourself into a human cannonball or torpedo. Why walk around signage or displays when they where put there for climbing in on or under. And mannequins.... Don't even get me started.

Elliot stood in myer today shouting al Pacino style taunts at no one in particular - ' hey boy are you looking at me?'

Where do they come from? These are not my children!
I don't take long in the shops I race in and out, done. No lingering no window shopping or browsing. No. Strictly business.

So.

Today I go to Woolworth's at the end of my trip to myer, the chemist, and the $2shop. I got milk, oranges, donuts( promised if I didn't have to shout at them) rice bubbles and the cream(pictured)
We went to the self serve check out which is always somewhat self defeating cause someone always puts something on the scanner too soon and we have to get help, but- there are no lollies at the checkout so that's why I go.
Part way through the process the aforementioned cream- destined for tonight's dinner slipped out of the holes the kids put their legs through in the seat bit of the trolley and exploded onto the floor.
It took a few seconds for me to notice as no one in my party was affected by the ensuing chaos. The creams trajectory was really in a straight line opposite us to a couple who looked like they may have just come from a winter solstice celebration at Stonehenge. They were clad head to toe in black felted fabric with pagan symbols embroidered all over them. Except now they were clad head to toe in black felted fabric and 600ml of cream. White splashed and sploshes all over them. On their hats and hoods, eyelashes, felted booties, even their metal pagan symbols they wore around their necks.



It may have been the first time they ventured out of their colony in years, only to be doused in cream
I was very apologetic. They said it was no probbies.

For my boys it was one of the only times I haven't got cross at them in Woolworth's. Luckily it wasn't their fault.

The ladies at woolworths were not so kind. I fear they may have hexed me on my way out.

And I didn't even use the cream in dinner.